Why Women With Pelvic Pain Need Support, Not Dismissal

I recently watched the movie Lady Parts based on a true story about a woman undergoing surgery for pelvic pain and I found myself thinking about so many of the women I’ve worked with over the years.

Not because every story or diagnosis looks the same, but because the emotional experience so often does.

Many women with pelvic pain spend years feeling confused, isolated, dismissed, and disconnected from their bodies.

They are told their scans look normal, that their symptoms are “just stress,” or that painful periods and intercourse are simply part of being a woman and to "just have a couple glasses of wine before sex."

Over time, many start gaslighting themselves and wondering if they’re overreacting or somehow failing at handling pain that was never supposed to be normalized in the first place.

Pelvic pain can absolutely be physical, but it also affects nearly every area of a person’s life. It impacts relationships, movement, intimacy, exercise, mental health, fertility journeys, work, sleep, and the ability to feel safe and at home in your own body.

One of the hardest parts is that many women are carrying all of this quietly.

Conditions like endometriosis can take 7-10 years to diagnose on average, and many women see multiple providers before anyone fully connects the dots or offers comprehensive support.

While the nervous system absolutely matters in chronic pain, I also think it’s important that women do not walk away feeling like their pain is “all in their head.”

The body is complex, and pelvic pain rarely has one single explanation.

Sometimes there is endometriosis, PCOS or adenomyosis. Sometimes there is pelvic floor muscle tension from hypermobility or lack of core strength. Sometimes there is scar tissue restrictions or bowel or bladder dysfunction. Sometimes there are hormonal imbalances, trauma, or nervous system sensitization. Most of the time, I find many of these things are going on at the same time!

This is why pelvic pain deserves curiosity and compassionate investigation rather than dismissal.

Pelvic Pain Rarely Exists In Isolation

One thing I talk about often in my practice is that the pelvic floor does not work in isolation. Neither does pain.

When someone has been in pain for a long period of time, the effects often spread far beyond one area of the body. Pain can influence breathing patterns, digestion, sleep, movement, stress levels, hormones, exercise tolerance, sexual health, and nervous system regulation.

Over time, many women begin adapting around symptoms without even realizing it and they forget there was a time where they didn't have to live with these symptoms.

They may avoid intimacy, stop traveling, call out sick for work, cancel plans or workouts, wear pads “just in case,” constantly plan around bathrooms, or silently push through flare-ups while trying to appear okay on the outside.

Because the pelvic floor is still generally considered taboo, many women suffer without realizing how common these experiences actually are.

Healing Often Requires Support

One of the biggest things I wish more women understood is that healing often requires so much support.

For some women, support looks like finally finding a provider who listens carefully and takes their symptoms seriously.

This may involve working with someone like me, a pelvic floor physical therapist and women's health coach, and other compassionate providers like a gynecologist, an endometriosis specialist, a mental health provider, a nutrition professional.

For some, this means finding supportive loved ones who are willing to listen and learn alongside them.

Sometimes, one of the most healing moments is simply hearing that your pain is very real and there is help out there!

Support matters because pelvic pain can feel incredibly lonely. Many women have spent years minimizing their symptoms or trying to “push through” because they felt like they had no other option.

But struggling silently should never be the expectation.