You Are Not Broken. Your Body Is Communicating.

If you are living with pelvic pain, it can start to feel personal.

Pain with sitting.
Pain with intimacy.
Pain that lingers no matter what you try.

Many people eventually reach a point where they say, “I feel broken.”

This is one of the most common phrases I hear in pelvic floor therapy. And it is one of the most misunderstood experiences.

Here is the truth.

You are not broken.
Your body is communicating.

And no one has helped you to see what's at the root of your pain yet.

When pelvic pain starts to feel like failure

We live in a culture that teaches people to override their bodies. Push through discomfort. Normalize pain. Accept symptoms as part of life.

So when pelvic pain persists, it can feel like something is wrong with you.

Why can’t I relax?
Why does my body keep holding tension?
Why does nothing seem to work?

But pain is not a character flaw. It is not weakness. It is not failure.

Pelvic pain is information. It is the body’s attempt to protect itself in a system that has not yet felt safe or supported.

Pelvic pain is not always “just” the nervous system

Pelvic pain is often explained as a nervous system issue. And oftentimes, the nervous system is absolutely part of the picture.

But for many people, nervous system involvement develops after years of unaddressed physical or hormonal contributors.

The nervous system does not become sensitive out of nowhere. It adapts when the body has had to cope without answers.

For some people, pelvic pain began with something physical that was never fully addressed.

Endometriosis or adenomyosis, where pain and inflammation were normalized or dismissed
PCOS, with underlying hormonal imbalances contributing to pain, tension, or cycle disruption
Hormonal birth control, offered as the only solution, masking symptoms without addressing root causes and sometimes worsening pain
Hypermobility, where joints and connective tissue require specific education and stability that was never provided
Lack of education, where no one explained what is normal for bowel health, bladder function, sexual activity, or how the female body works

When pain is minimized or oversimplified, the body adapts.

Muscles guard.
Movement patterns change.
Breath becomes shallow.
The nervous system stays alert.

At that point, pelvic pain becomes layered.

Layered pain does not mean imagined pain

One of the most harmful messages people with pelvic pain receive is that if imaging looks normal, the pain must be psychological.

This is simply not true.

When the body copes for years without the right support, the nervous system becomes involved because it is doing its job. It is trying to protect.

Pain that involves the nervous system is still very real pain.

Understanding this does not invalidate the experience. It explains it.

Why forcing the body often makes pelvic pain worse

Many people try to fix pelvic pain by pushing harder. More exercises. More control. More discipline.

But protection does not soften through force.

When the nervous system does not feel safe, muscles stay guarded and pain persists. This is why pelvic floor therapy is not just about strengthening or relaxing muscles.

Pelvic health involves communication between:

The nervous system
Muscles and connective tissue
Hormones
Breath and pressure management
Lived experience and education

Healing often begins when the question shifts from “What is wrong with me?” to “What does my body need right now?”

I often stress in my sessions the "less is more" mentality and just "dipping a toe into the pain" vs. jumping right in!

Education is a powerful part of pelvic pain treatment

For many people, the biggest shift happens when they finally understand their body.

Understanding why pain developed.
Understanding what is normal.
Understanding how the pelvis, breath, posture, hormones, and nervous system work together.

Education reduces fear.
Less fear reduces guarding.
And the body becomes more responsive.

This is not about blaming the body. It is about giving it information and support it never received.